LOVE

....
Sweet sound of laughter,
Sharp salt of tears join to make
Joy of loving you.
.....
From Life's A Bitch by GeoE
...

KOAN

...
To use God as a crutch is to take a first step alone.
To use God as a crutch is to die.
Koan is a crutch
To walk alone is death.
....
From Life's A Bitch by GeoE
*Koan: a mediational dichotomy
.....

DEVA

....
Hang sweet hov'rer
Twixt earth and sky;
Naught but heart of flow'r
To catch your eye.
....
From Life's A Bitch by GeoE
...

MEDITATION

....
He wears his Buddha belly val'rously
And meditates most pond'rously
On pizza, pot and beer.
.....
From Life's A Bitch by GeoE
.....

FAREWELL

....
You are leaving;
............I shall miss you.
..........................In some ephemeral way, you are strength.
Opinionated...........adamant.............prejudiced
And yet
You opened doors,
............Feathered edge of consciousness
.......................Nor you.........nor I, explored.
....
I dreamed of us last night.
.....
On dusty coffee table lay
...............an album;
..........................Clippings.........photos..........notes.
Around me people
..............Faceless cocktail crowd.............noisy nothing-ness
..........................engulfing simple shack.
...........
Outside...............silent desert
..................Breathless................Waiting
Timelessly suspended in motes of moonlight.
Alone, I riffled through pages.........hearing songs
...............Snatches of joy and sadness,
............................raucous-rollicking
And then
Almost lost in the jumble of a page
..............A love song.
.......
Exquisite...........................it lay unsung.
...............In richly simple words
.......................Love, in all its fullness encompassed me.
.......
Through tear-constricted throat
..............I drifted into waking
........................Enraptured..............singing your song.
.........
"Love, you are an auto.....the hood."
.....
I know where we meet.....you and I.
...........We have a song.........'Twill move the world
.................If we can find the words!
........
From Life's A Bitch by GeoE
To Glenn Hayes, Editor BCT
.....

GOD.....NOW WHAT?

.....
Fifty-ODD years ago
God spoke.........to me.
Though I have laughed and cried,
Loved and hated,
Eaten, crapped and fornicated,
My life has been
One long, exciting search
To hear his voice again;
Though I know he lives
Not on some distant Shakari
But in eternal depths
........of me.
.....
Sometimes I wonder
In the dark of night,
How would or could I diff'rent be?
Is there some great plan
Whose path I trod all unaware?
Does each of us
Sometime - somewhere
Hear God and then.....
.....
Eat and cry and fornicate
But not the same:
...........Not quite.
......
From Life's a Bitch by GeoE
......

WHO......I?

....
What greater God
Do microbes have
Than I?
....
For e'en with drugs
They live...
I die
.....
Who interferes
With God's Great Plan?
Not man!
....
Or who knows
What that might be?
Not me!
....
From Life's A Bitch by GeoE
On reading Discover Magazine on mutating microbes.
........

GODS, CLODS AND WICKIUPS

.....
Once before a time a father sat
And contemplated this...and that
And found, to his great surprise
That he was lonely...
For he was this...but there was no that!
...
He raved and ranted, cried and swore
But nothing happened...
There was no more.
And so in silence deep and dark
He looked within and found...
His heart.
....
He called her woman, blessed wife
Who brought him joy
Companionship and life.
Two in one, and one in two
Their love and joy just grew and grew.
Where there was one...
Now one was two
And two was four and more and more
...
Exponentially, cosmic'lly, eternally,
Fearlessly, cataclysmic'lly, endlessly,
It grew.
Stars and suns and buttercups
Gods and clods and wicki-ups
Frantic, ceaseless, feckless blend;
For no beginning hath no end.
...
But what is very strange, you see
Is there was never any more
...nor less
Than what there was origin'lly.
Everything was ever new
And not-a-thing just never grew,
But in the silence of a heart
All is one...is one...is one
And one is one can never part!
AMEN.
....
From Life's A Bitch by GeoE
A Christmas Story, 1994
.....

MORE FOOL I

.....
Though my mountain be
.....only inches high
does't take less courage
.....with bag of mem'ries
..........(pain-death-fear-love-glory-ecstasy)
.....tightly gripped and head held high
to step so blithely off?
....
What beacon glows
.....'cross the abyss
..........that I might dare?
Does my bag hold only tricks?
.....More fool I, whose memory
Sees only dark;
.....counts failure's pain.
.....
Have I not stood before?
.....Did I not choose to move....
..........(or was I pushed)?
Empty bag...cast the stones
....and lo....
what glitters far outshines
.....dark fears.
And yeah, more brightly
.....for its darkling nest.
.....
Breathe - trust - and step.
.....TThere's naught to lose
.......... Foolish Fool.
Who knows what lies beyond
......Beyond?
.....
From Life's A Bitch by GeoE
July 1994
.....

IS IT REAL?

......
Where did it go.....this world of mine
Lost now in clouded memories.
Lost with all the belov'ds who also knew.
It seemed so real.
.....
Real as frost-ripped bottom
Bared to "out-of-doors"
And buckets dipped in icy well
Dripping to kitchen
Rosy warm with iron stove, and
Mama stirrin' grits and hog back.
....
Real as draggin' babe on pickin' sack
Between the cotton rows,
Or blessed nights before the fire
Papa readin' from "The Book"
Or mama pumpin' up the organ;
A dozen voices...more and less...
Sweetly singin' young'uns off to sleep.
.....
I sit before the raucous sounds of TV
Watching "Patriots" hitting "Scuds"
Raining death upon the earth.
The room too hot...furnace much too high;
Don't know how to turn it off.
Aching weary bones grateful for
The indoor plumbing
And the sound of TV voices,
Though they don't relate to me.
.....
How subtly were we wooed
Into a new reality.......or is this real?
Am I?
There's no one left to tell me:
Was it...is it...am I...is there real?
....
From Life's A Bitch by GeoE
....
For Fronie Skaggs, a living Grant Wood painting, born 11/30/1904, one of 12 children; fading, though not always gently, from a lost past through a present confusing even to those born to it, with a patient acceptance born of "you live because you are alive." 2/19/1991
....

AFTERMATH

........
Tall, the eucalyptus stand
Like painted soldiers;
Shakers motionless
'gainst flat grey sky,
Silent guardians of the night.
......
Faint ripples-teasing breeze;
Subtle, black turns grey...
....rose.....blue;
A winged hawk hovers high,
Promise of a 3-dimension day.
........
Shall I wake?
......
From Life's A Bitch by GeoE
.......

LOST LOVE

....
The honey taste of buttercup
..........Is caught deep in my throat.
Silken strands of sunshine
..........Swing against your cheek.
Yet having known you....I do not weep.
.....
From Life's A Bitch by GeoE
....

BEAUTIFUL

.....
Beautiful;
.....As the grass sings
..........As the moon laughs
...............As a feather drifts
....................As the motes dance.
Beautiful
......
From Life's A Bitch by GeoE
On reading "You and I" by Leonard Nimoy
.....

FIRST LOVE

....
"He loves me, Mom"
Bemused her lips;
..........All the mysteries of life
..........Were born.
.....
First love
..........However late it comes
..........Is ever new.
........
From Life's A Bitch by GeoE
...for Charlotte, spring, 1993
.....

OBSERVATION

.....
Wisdom comes not with age
.........Experience nor love.
'Tis not the bailiwick of power,
Not sexual quality, quantity nor identity.
Not mother, not father,
..........Not poet nor fool
Nor even the practice of
..........Golden rule.
......
Wisdom, I think,
..........though I may never know,
Sneaks quietly in when not expected,
..........Nor courted, nor wooed, nor educated;
But out of silence and observation,
Appreciation and participation
..........In the ever-present now.
.....
From Life's A Bitch by GeoE
September 1994
........

WHO AM I?

......
Today, I dare to look
..........into my eyes
To see what lies
..........behind their guileless stare.
What demons of the dark
..........are lurking in there?
....
From Life's A Bitch by GeoE
......

KALEIDOSCOPIC HEART

.....
The colour of my heart
Is not mine alone
But a tell-tale mix
Off all I've known.
......
.....The dark, the light
.....The fear, the flight,
.....Bleeding wounds given and taken,
.....Healing love; hate forsaken.
.........
The colour of my heart
No golden light;
It's murky depth's reflect
..........my life.
.......
From Life's A Bitch by GeoE
September 1994
........

ON FORGIVENESS

.......
"Vengeance is mine, saith the Lord".
Mayhap 'tis true.
........Who knows
In elusive reach of morn
How flagellating whip is borne?
......
From Life's A Bitch by GeoE
.....

HABIT GOD

.....
How fine the mesh of reason that I weave
......To strain the gnats of negativity,
And never see the cloak of doubt
......Whose darkness still envelops me,
In altar-niche, hidden deep within,
.......Loved with feel of fear and fate,
Worshipped through the patterns of my past,
.......The Habit-God needs only sit...and wait.
Arise, my feeling heart and meet
.......The great excitement of my mind.
In the joyous blending of the two
.......False-gods of doubt are left behind.
........
From Life's a Bitch by GeoE
.....

FAITH

.......
When I am weary, sore afraid
........the well-spring of my heart run dry,
My unbelief denies my faith
........giv'n God in days gone by.

Yet where, I need must ask
.........came all those words of yore?
From out my mouth can only come
.........what lived and grew before.
And I...whatever else may be...
..........I AM, and therefore one with Thee.

This day I drink not from the source
..........yet the well is never dry
For the river runs its course.
...........Be still; await the truth I know;
For only nagging doubt and fear
...........can block the well-spring's flow.
.........
From Life's A Bitch by GeoE
.....

BLEST BE THE DAY

..........
How blest are we
...........whose hands touch love
Digging through dark soil;
...........brushing aside worms of fear,
...........slugs of hate
To find tiny tendrils of hope

How blest are we
............who water the dreams,
Enrich life's surround;
............bring forth the vine,
.............fruit of trust,
To harvest blessings of love.
.....................
From Life's a Bitch by GeoE
March 1992. Dedicated to "those who serve" for Soroptimist Women of Distinction
......

...So Created...

space

In October of 19 and 18
I opened my eyes....and
..........................There was light!
Out of the dark, the warm,
..........................The moist and formless,

Out of the chaos of wirling motion
Pressure...pressure...
Mind-blowing pressure,
Blind-striking fear,

Lung-bursting, teeth-grinding,
...........Arm-flailing, whirling
......................Whirling
................................W h i r l i n g
.....................................Wh
..........................................i
...........................................r
............................................l
..............................................i
...............................................n
.................................................g

I opened my eyes........and
There was light,
And the world was born.

A lovely,
Bright and shining,
..........Opalescent, softly moving,
...................Dreamy world of light.
And when I tired of the play,
..........I called upon the dark;
..................And there was night.
And the evening and the morning
.........Were the first day.

And there was
Firmness beneath me,
........Solid, soft-supporting
..................Cradling and warm.
And above me
Sweet currents of heavenly air.
I had but to wave my arms,
........And lights danced,
..................Colors swirled. There were
Clouds of scented softness.

........And I created the waters
..................Of familiar moistness,
..................And the dry land, separated from the waters
And they came...and they left
........At my bidding,
.................And it was Good.
And I knew it was good.
And I knew I was God........to my world.

.........And lo, through all these many years,
.................As fast as my mind
............................Can whirl and dream,

As wide as my arms can reach,
...................My eyes can see;
.......As big as my heart can stretch out wide;
...................As far as my thoughts can spread,
.......I build my world.

....................Universally, Cosmically,
...............................Closely and Personally,
.........................................I flower it and seed it...
....................I rain and I dry it...
...............................I people it and warm it
.........................................With passion and fire
.........................................With hate and desire,
.........................................With color and light,
.........................................With cold and with night.
.....................I embrace it, reject it,
................................Ignore and inspect it
.........................................And hour by hour
....................................................It expands and it grows
.....................My creation.......My world

But what if I tire,
...........And what if I sleep?
........................Must it slowly expire and sink without sound
Back into the dark,
...........The formless and moist
.........................The motionless, silent
Stillness...............
..........Motionless
......................soundless
................................silent
........................................h
...........................................u
...............................................s
..................................................h
From whence I came.

.........Too bad........
.........It is a lovely world I made.
.........Still,
.........Once before, I slept......
..................And out of the chaos of
.........Mind-blowing pressure
..................Lung-bursting, arm-flailing
...........................Whirling.........

I opened my eyes
............................AND........

space

From Life's a Bitch by GeoE

.....